Having employed the wrong strategy at an expensive afternoon cream tea, I hope to help any reader to avoid the recent pitfalls I fell into.
1 Eat only a small breakfast. My mistake was ordering a bacon sandwich that was so dry it felt like chewing an asbestos sheet. It needed several cups of tea to wash it down and my waistline was already beginning its inevitable expansion.
2 Avoid any establishment that puts a time limit on your experience. Demolishing three tiers of food takes longer than one hour, if regurgitation is to be avoided.
3 Take full advantage of extra tea fill-ups. You will need them to balance the top tier of sugar-ladened goodies.
4 Know your limits. Grazers beware - you will never complete the task.
5 Consider an exit strategy. Sandwiches or scones are easier to shovel into a carry-out box than the top tier items which can run through your fingers leaving you looking like a chimp. Sandwiches can easily be eaten the next day if refrigerated.
6 Get the establishment to build the box. You only get one chance of victory over wafer thin cardboard tabs. Swinging your prized contents nonchalantly over a fellow diner may be easily avoided.
Good Luck with yours!
NE
