Tired of the time it takes to shave with a cheap razor, Neil asked his wife Louise, for a state of the art, 5-bladed samurai sword razor for his birthday.
It had pride of place in the bathroom and all who saw it, marvelled at the technical wizardry on show.
He made a huge mistake. He didn't dispense with the cheap and nasty tempered two -blade razor.
It had feelings and seeing Neil's hand blunder into his basket, his home, he turned 180 degrees and sliced deeply across the exposed fleshy pad of the thumb leaving a gaping flap that covered the sink in a river of blood.
Neil, still suffering from a bout of flu, despite a brave vaccination, wanted to shout "medic!", But the only sounds that came out were "Aaaargh, Aaaargh!" whilst hanging precariously onto the sink.
Louise, his long suffering wife, wondered what nonsense her husband was up to now! Still suffering from a prolapsed disc, she hauled herself inch by inch up the tortuous winding staircase to reach the bathroom of horror, only to slip in the carnage of blood and water, whilst casually remarking water was for burns , not cuts!
Nine rolls of loo paper later, the flow was staunched. His hand looked like a boxing glove and for added security, it was sealed in a plastic bag as the duvet had just been changed earlier in the day and red would spoil the colour scheme.
As the spasms of pain subsided, Paracetamol put in another appearance to bring the temperature under control.
Dressing changes were prepared for emergency use and both the patient and doctor drifted off into fitful sleeps.
It had pride of place in the bathroom and all who saw it, marvelled at the technical wizardry on show.
He made a huge mistake. He didn't dispense with the cheap and nasty tempered two -blade razor.
It had feelings and seeing Neil's hand blunder into his basket, his home, he turned 180 degrees and sliced deeply across the exposed fleshy pad of the thumb leaving a gaping flap that covered the sink in a river of blood.
Neil, still suffering from a bout of flu, despite a brave vaccination, wanted to shout "medic!", But the only sounds that came out were "Aaaargh, Aaaargh!" whilst hanging precariously onto the sink.
Louise, his long suffering wife, wondered what nonsense her husband was up to now! Still suffering from a prolapsed disc, she hauled herself inch by inch up the tortuous winding staircase to reach the bathroom of horror, only to slip in the carnage of blood and water, whilst casually remarking water was for burns , not cuts!
Nine rolls of loo paper later, the flow was staunched. His hand looked like a boxing glove and for added security, it was sealed in a plastic bag as the duvet had just been changed earlier in the day and red would spoil the colour scheme.
As the spasms of pain subsided, Paracetamol put in another appearance to bring the temperature under control.
Dressing changes were prepared for emergency use and both the patient and doctor drifted off into fitful sleeps.
